Standards

 Most modern women have disgusting standards…-Kevin Samuels

 

To think Kevin Samuels managed to conger up a following of around 800,000 people looking for relationship advise, shocks to their egos, validation, and any of the other feelings one may develop about themselves, and their self-esteems ignited by his radical comments. He would have led you to believe that standards were not necessary or the ones you had established for yourself were ridiculous at best. His idea of an ideal woman was a female with the perfect petite figure, perfect skin, a big butt, hair laid, and a smile that could light up a room. She was also submissive almost to her detriment because she would not think for herself or expected not to question her man. I am sorry, but I really do not personally know a woman that fit that description. If you did not fit in this category, then you were not good enough for the good looking, clean-cut man. You were not on point for the man that had a fat bank account and a diversified portfolio. You could not attract that actor, model, music artist, professional athlete, etc. You were only good enough for the subpar, mediocre man. I call BULL!

 

Now back to reality. If I want to attract a particular kind of man, then I must expect a certain kind of behavior. This means that I must decide what I want in a man, what I will accept from him, what his role will be in my life, and establish a clear understanding of what his leadership looks like. Yes, his leadership. He will lead my household. Whoever he shall be will be able to take the reins of the household to cover it, protect it, care for it, and maintain it.  Only a silly, unknowledgeable woman will think it is dumb to be submissive. Submission is that deeper level stuff that is not made for the weak or faint at heart. I used to be one of those women that thought that I would never fix a plate for a man, I would never wash a man’s clothes, or take the time to rub his back if he asked me to. Boy how times have changed.

 

One time at band camp, if you know then you know, I remember sitting in the field waiting on our section to participate in drills. We started having conversations about guys, dating, and all that good stuff. I must admit, I was real green. I mean so green that I probably created a new variation of it. I recall one of my classmates on the very far, colorless end of the melanin spectrum was discussing things she and her boyfriend would do. It was like yesterday; I had the look of horror. You trying to tell me you put your mouth where and on what? I was disgusted. If anything, Kevin Samuels could have said that was disgusting. I just remember thinking that folks do that and saying to myself I will just be single. Lord, I did not really mean that, but it was part of my thoughts at the time. Over the next decade or so, I spent a great deal of time navigating the dating life and trying to gain some sense of what love is. I will admit, I have been fooled a time or two or three even. Old folks say that the Lord takes care of old folks, fools and babies. At times I was the baby and then the fool, but all in all he took care of me.

 

I was a late bloomer of sorts growing up. Of course, I was attracted to males, but I immediately realized that I did not fall in the range of what they considered desirable. I was this short, chubby girl that still rocked glasses and a Jheri curl until my later time in high school. Still then, the guys I knew or would have around considered me to be a conquest that I was not about to be a party to. After all, I was a good girl and my parents put the fear of God in me. Well maybe they did, or I was just a scary child. Either way, they did not have to worry about me doing anything that would lead me down the wrong path. I would always be their angel.  

 

Often women with any real sense would have established standards that they require a man to meet. Conversely, I have them and I am often labeled too strict, or I have them too high. To be honest, my standards are simple. I ask that the man is born with male tools that don’t require me to play hide and seek to find them. I prefer Christian men. He will have a job and at this point in life he should be established after all we are over halfway to retirement. Having children is not a dealbreaker for me, but if he has a gaggle of them by multiple women that will send up red flags for me. This is a warning sign that there is a touch of irresponsibility screaming stay away. Of course, I would not be so shallow as to not take each under consideration case by case. A man with good financial discipline is a definite plus. Both of us cannot be bad with money. I am just kidding about the financial immaturity part. The thing that makes things a lot nicer is that he and I have some common interest. We are then able to meet in the middle on activities and be able to enjoy them together.