That Girl




Before you get started, I ask that you please take time and watch the attached video below for a better understanding.

 

Hopefully you have viewed the attached TikTok. This message that she shared mirrors how I feel daily. I always hear “you are so pretty”, “I cannot believe you are still single” or something along those lines, but my reality is if I am considered attractive I do not feel that way because how I am received by the opposite sex. From my days in college, I have always been that friend that sat at the table and watched purses, coats and drinks while everyone else was being asked to dance or being bought drinks. If a guy bought me drinks it was a sympathy drink because he was trying to entice the friend I was with. Now during my days at the NCO on Ft. McClellan, I had a dedicated dance partner. 

 

In the days of plus size women being glorified and oversexualized, often time we are not taken seriously. We are perceived to have low self-esteem and settling for whatever attention, be it bad or good, we can get. Settling will be one thing I will not do. Now looking back on my past, I feel as though I may have settled when I thought I was in love. Now through growth and maturity, I know otherwise. Lord knows we can be loved and respected equally because I have not seen a woman or man on My 600lb Life that is single. I honestly have a lot of respect for those men and women on there because they often are the sole caretaker for their loved one. 

 

Now do not get me wrong, I am not in any way looking for validation. The way I feel when the opposite sex approaches me is one of two ways: I am a piece of meat looked at sexually or I am not worthy of a man that is more my speed. I am sorry sir, but I am not looking for a “friend with benefits” nor am I interested in the man that just did half of his life behind bars. I can overlook mistakes, but you and I are not the same. As some would say, we are not equally yoked. I do not belief I am too good for anyone, but really and truly what would you bring to my wonderfully blessed life? I would want you, not need you. Yes, you would be an enhancement, not a necessity. 

 

In this season of healing, I have come to realize that I do not have to dress a certain way to gain attention. I do not dress sleezy, but I may jazz things up a bit. Make-up, lashes, weaves, etc. is not going to change someone’s perception of me. If you are scared, then say you are scared. Now I have not gained the confidence necessary to push myself to make the first moves. I am sorry, but I am still a bit of a traditional woman. We want to be desired and pursued. Trust if you make the move and the feeling is mutual, the chase will be mutual. 

 

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important!”




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